36 pages • 1 hour read
Brené BrownBraving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapter 2Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 2 Summary: “The Quest for True Belonging”
In Chapter 2, Brown provides a working definition of true belonging—true belonging is found in individuals who present “authentic, imperfect selves” to the world, and who also possess a willingness to stand, at times, “totally alone” in “the wilderness of uncertainty, vulnerability, and criticism” (32). When access to a sense of deep “spiritual connection to shared humanity” is lacking (33), Brown notes there is a greater risk of individuals sacrificing true belonging to fit in.
This definition of true belonging was derived out of Brown’s grounded theory (interview-based) research on the four following questions: 1) what do people who have developed a sense of true belonging have in common, 2) what does arriving at a place of belonging “nowhere and everywhere” require, 3) do individuals with the courage to stand alone still need belonging that comes from community, and 4) does contemporary American culture’s divisiveness affect a quest for true belonging, and if so, how?
From participant responses to these questions, Brown distilled four elements of true belonging practice: 1) meeting and forming opinions of other people based on personal experience, not stereotypes; 2) a willingness to challenge, with integrity and civility, those who dismiss, misrepresent, or emotionally manipulate truth; 3) joining or seeking the communion of strangers when experiencing shared joy and pain; and 4) developing the courage to defend deeply held beliefs and the capacity to remain open and vulnerable when sharing those beliefs with others. A sense of true belonging—connecting with others without sacrificing “authenticity, freedom, or power” (36), requires active participation and, at times, a willingness for individuals to stand alone and embody an “untamed, unpredictable” position.
To “brave the wilderness and become the wilderness,” Brown highlights the importance of trusting oneself and others using a set of seven principles she outlines with the acronym BRAVING. Brown notes that these BRAVING factors, by definition, require courage and vulnerability: 1) respecting Boundaries, 2) Reliably maintaining commitments, 3) being Accountable for mistakes, 4) maintaining a Vault of privacy and confidentiality, 5) acting with Integrity, 6) responding and acting Nonjudgmentally, and 7) extending Generosity of intentions (37).
A practice of true belonging requires individuals to navigate inherent paradoxes, whereby 1) sharing deeply held beliefs with others is an expression of self-belonging, 2) sacredness is held when standing with community, and 3) sacredness is also held when standing alone as individuals.
Chapter 2 Analysis
Brown expands on her definition of belonging from her 2010 book The Gifts of Imperfection by noting that this practice calls individuals not only to present “authentic, imperfect selves to the world,” but also, at times, to stand “totally alone” (32). In general, people hold a desire to belong, but they have no wish to sacrifice their personal ethics, autonomy, or capacity for action. However, in times of spiritual disconnection and a general “diminishing sense of shared humanity” (33) pressure is placed on individuals to sacrifice these very things to find a sense of belonging.
When individuals lack a “deeper spiritual connection to shared humanity,” they must possess greater stores of courage in order to practice true belonging, particularly when faced with greater levels of “fear and disdain” (33). There is also the danger of negative spiraling—when communities and individuals retreat from a shared belief in spiritual connection, there is a reduced capacity to honor personal integrity, which leads to a greater dependency on groupthink. Although the superficial conformity of “fitting in” provides people with a necessary sense of belonging, it lacks a sense of safety.
The four research questions Brown and her team explored are an attempt to uncover the experiences that led participants to prioritize the practice of true belonging, identify the behaviors of that practice, and realize the consequences of standing alone in the wilderness. Brown notes that experiencing true belonging is not simply a matter of “braving the wilderness” (36)—true belonging requires identifying with the wilderness so fully, a person is willing to take a leap of faith and speak from the heart rather than from “weary hurt.” Because there is no guarantee that any individual act of braving the wilderness will be met with understanding, practitioners must trust their intentions and take solace in the actions rather than the outcomes of their practice.
Consequently, the seven steps of BRAVING focus on fostering trust. For a practice that requires genuine courage and bravery, conveying respect and providing a sense of safety is paramount. True belonging is not about defending a position, manipulating emotions, or being right. It is about expressing personal truths and extending curiosity and compassion to the self and to others, which is why Brown’s toolkit stresses boundaries, reliability, accountability, confidentiality, integrity, non-judgment, and generosity.
While true belonging is a challenging practice, it can ameliorate or reverse the effects of loneliness by reconnecting individuals to a sense of spiritual connection and shared humanity. True belonging is acting out of the knowledge that we may be alone, but we are not separate. As a result, the practice of true belonging engenders a diminished sense of fear; enhances feelings of trust, respect, and love; and cultivates a greater willingness to debate as an expression of one’s individuality.
Related Titles
By Brené Brown
