Black Girls Must Die Exhausted: A Novel

“Laila Joon was always late, but always worth waiting for.”

Time, a frequent motif in the novel, is often represented by characters who run late. With this repeated dynamic, Allen consistently represents time as both cyclical and relative. Although Laila usually arrives late, Tabby never feels as though her time is wasted. However, Tabby does feel betrayed by Marc’s reluctance to commit to marriage and family, and she believes that his dishonesty wasted a significant number of her reproductive years.

“Guess who shot it down? Scott Stone. Rather than argue with him in front of the entire staff, I let it go. I wanted to push it but had nobody to back me up.”

Scott serves as the primary antagonist in the professional aspects of Tabby’s life, and his ingrained racism and sexism often fuel Tabby’s intersectionality conflicts at work. With this frustrated comment, Tabby illustrates the ramifications and feelings of isolation that result from being the only woman of color at her job.

“We did want to focus on our careers first—that seemed like the obvious route. No man these days was looking to take care of a woman. Working women were the new housewives, as far as we all knew. And single was becoming the new married.”

Tabby and her friends highlight the expectations for modern women, specifically the fact that women are expected to be career-driven, while family-oriented women like their mothers and grandmothers are considered to be less attractive to contemporary men. Still, modern men expect women to sacrifice their careers—the very trait that attracts men in the first place—when childrearing. As the dynamics of the novel suggest, this hypocrisy leads women to remain single.

“‘BEEETCH, YOU OUT HERE TRYING TO HAVE AN NBA BABY!’ Laila shouted over the champagne flute at her lips at our Sunday late-afternoon brunch table, cracking herself up at me and my indiscretions of the previous night.”

Through dialogue, Allen demonstrates the close bond among friends as Tabby and Laila speak their own language. Laila lovingly calls her friend a “bitch,” and Tabby isn’t the least insulted. She also invents the term “NBA Baby,” implying that women sleep with professional basketball players strategically to share a baby and, thus, obtain the father's wealth, fame, and athletic genes. The term is frequently used among the friends for the remainder of the novel.

“I watched Marc’s mouth move but heard nothing that mattered. Looking at him now was like looking at a complete stranger who I’d only seen for the very first time tonight.”

Tabby describes the shock and heartbreak associated with an abruptly ended relationship, and her disconnection from the moment is reflected in the fact that she can no longer process Marc’s words. Moreover, she recognizes how betrayal stimulates feelings of unfamiliarity and distrust.

“I had invested valuable time—relationships pass in dog years when you’re in your thirties, and you can’t give up valuable real estate in your childbearing window without needing a return of some sort.”

Tabby uses a metaphor to establish the difference between women’s and men’s fertility. She compares her thirties to valuable real estate, which, if lost, can often never be recovered. This way of thinking highlights Tabby’s keen financial literacy and business-like approach, adding to her characteristics of independence.

“‘I have your room suite ready and everything. It’s the same shade of soft, delicate pink, just like your old room in View Park.’ Ugh. I hated that room.”

Tabby’s relationship with her mother suffers partly because Jeanie imposes her own expectations and ideals on her. This passage makes it clear that Jeanie treats Tabby like a Barbie doll and has no respect for Tabby’s taste or individuality.

“I turned to look at Scott. My victory was written in the redness of his face. His shoulders had dropped at least an inch, and he had the same open-mouthed look that I had in the elevator. The taste of victory crept into my mouth like sweet blackberry cobbler and vanilla bean ice cream.”

Tabby’s promotion represents modern perspectives surrounding women and people of color in the workplace. Allen emphasizes the significance of the moment by employing a simile to describe the sweetness and victory associated with equality and appreciation for diversity.

“I did not expect this Lexi to show up, but I smiled a bit with what I could only identify as pride, seeing her stand up for herself. Welcome back, old friend, welcome back.”

Ever the cheerleader for her friends, Tabby realizes that she cannot force Laila and Alexis to follow her advice. However, she feels delighted when Laila and Alexis prioritize their needs before others while maintaining their integrity. The friends are not competitive with each other, though, at times, they do pass judgment on each other’s decisions.

“I couldn’t ‘go natural,’ I couldn’t wear braids, and I couldn’t get locs like Laila, whose name was public but whose appearance was always safely concealed behind a computer screen. I envied her freedom and authenticity.”

Hair, an essential symbol in the narrative, represents identity and cultural heritage. Tabby feels that she must exclude herself from enjoying her natural texture while conforming to Eurocentric beauty standards, as she is often the face of KVTV.

“I’ve told you, Two, I used to think to myself when I was growing up, Black girls, they sure must die exhausted. So many battles to fight.”

While referencing the novel's title, Granny Tab sums up Tabby’s emotional experience. Tabby fights for her reproductive health even as she struggles to make her perspective heard at work, and she must also fight to maintain her financial stability and her safety while strangers treat her as a suspicious character and make assumptions about her because of her identity as a Black woman.

“When your dad was just a little baby, I held him in my arms and I felt so powerless. I loved him so much and wanted the world to love him too. Why wouldn’t they, I thought. I was naïve back then.”

Granny Tab articulates the fact that the ramifications of racism are not confined to people of color. As a white mother to a Black son, Granny Tab operated with significant and justified fear for the well-being and safety of her child. She wanted to give others the benefit of the doubt, but her lived experiences challenged her faith in humanity.

“I spoke to myself as much as I did to my grandmother. ‘Somehow, being Black is not who I am, at least, not all that I am. But I know, at least in some way, it’s made me who I am. So, I wouldn’t trade, Granny Tab. I’d wanna stay who I am.’”

For all the added challenges that Tabby faces, she also loves and appreciates her identity as a Black woman. Tabby highlights how the most straightforward path in life is not necessarily always the best one; her struggles give her more opportunities to develop resilience and grit.

“Tabby, no matter what it is, work, Marc, whatever, stop doubting yourself so much. Just stay true to who you are and what you want. Why compromise? Nothing is ever going to be worth it if you have to. Not on that level.”

By reconciling with Paul, Tabby benefits from hearing fatherly advice and encouragement that critically resonates with her. Tabby also demonstrates the power of forgiveness and the advantage that comes with a healthy, reunified family built with understanding and empathy.

“As much as I missed him, not talking to Marc had rolled off me like water. But not talking to either Alexis or Laila felt like walking into work every single morning like I forgot something important at home.”

Tabby’s relationships with Laila and Alexis are pivotal for her fulfillment, as the friends’ many interactions demonstrate. When she fights with her friends and does not speak to them for a time, she feels the absence of her most trusted confidantes and learns to prioritize these relationships just as highly as her job or her romantic relationships.

“‘He said […] that what you needed from him was on the other side of damage that you didn’t create.’ I let that sit in the air. ‘Did you know that?’”

In a conversation with Jeanie, Tabby reveals her understanding of Paul’s mental and emotional struggles during his young adulthood and early in his and Jeanie’s marriage. Having been critical of Paul for most of her life, Tabby now takes on an accusatory tone as she addresses the reasons for her parents’ divorce. In doing so, Tabby articulates a double standard for married women; women are expected to stand by their men and continuously forgive their transgressions. By contrast, women simultaneously expect to be “ghosted” if they fail to meet society’s expectations.

“Too bad they can’t shoot the Black off you instead, since they’re just going around shooting Black people for no reason.”

Denisha’s clients sarcastically discuss incidents of police violence against people of color. Their conversation takes on a frustrated and angry mood, and Allen uses this scene to represent modern movements supporting Black lives.

“Well, even if they hadn’t moved into a Black neighborhood, it shouldn’t be suspicious just to see a Black person, and definitely not in View Park. I just don’t have a lot of sympathy for this kinda stuff. I used to worry for your father all of the time—that because of his skin color people wouldn’t see his innocence.”

Daequan’s story affects Granny Tab emotionally, drawing on her own lingering anxiety from her experiences of raising Paul. She focuses her anger on the white family that called the police on Daequan, identifying these individuals as the source of the problem. Granny Tab lacks sympathy for people who make assumptions from places of discrimination.

“I couldn’t believe that Chris had kids—in that moment, he seemed like he would eat them himself if he happened to get hungry enough.”

Although she is professionally ambitious, Tabby detests Chris’s indifference to his children. She also finds Chris to be neglectful of his children and his family, which forms a sharp contrast to Tabby’s prioritization of her own life spheres.

“‘Every problem can’t be my problem, Lisa!’ I heard myself say a little too loudly as I moved toward the opening elevator doors to make my escape.”

While Tabby and Lisa discuss the lack of infertility coverage in the company healthcare plan, Tabby criticizes people’s tendency to make assumptions about the battles she is willing to fight. Lisa assumes that because Tabby is Black and a woman, she will want to battle for change on various issues. However, Tabby establishes boundaries by carving out space for herself while allowing others to fight for her.

“There were the things I couldn’t, or shouldn’t, talk about. The things that hide within a family, between the lines of generations—alcoholism, rifts, lack of educational opportunity, racism.”

Tabby struggles to write Granny Tab’s eulogy when she thinks of all the family secrets that she knows Granny Tab would want to keep private. This inner turmoil leads her to think of her grandmother’s resilience and her ability to stay kind-hearted while facing extensive abuse and discrimination.

“Guys ghost women now if they do anything that makes them even slightly uncomfortable.”

Alexis and Laila lament the modern man’s tendency to flee a relationship for minor reasons. They commend Marc for continuing to court Tabby, echoing Granny Tab’s assessment that he is a “rare type.” Meanwhile, the main characters face shame at the prospect of leaving unfaithful men who minimize their experiences and successes.

“I liked to believe that I shared her passion for the spirit of humanity—that part of her that could see past the color of my grandfather’s skin to find a great dancer with a brilliant smile; the part of her that could hold a space for the tears of a friend and keep a door open for redemption, even for those who had hurt you the most.”

Tabby’s character arc is complete as she strives to embody Granny Tab’s honorable characteristics. No longer rushing to get ahead professionally or financially, Tabby pauses to consider the crucial aspects of life, reaching for a better version of humanity.