Be Prepared

“Last year Sarah got Complicity, one of those fancy historical dolls. These dolls were big and beautiful, with entire catalogs full of cool stuff. They were also super expensive.”

Vera is describing the most popular toy of the moment among her peer group: historical dolls, which many readers would recognize as American Girl dolls. Vera notes how lovely they look, as well as how collectible they are, given the number of accessories they come with. Because of their loveliness and their additional accessories, Vera admits that they are expensive, illustrating that not all girls would have ready access to these “fancy” dolls, including Vera herself.

“Sarah’s dad worked for the government. Lots of their dads did. My parents were divorced. I hadn’t seen my dad in a few years, but whatever he was doing, he wasn’t sending us any money.”

Continuing to reflect on her social and class status, Vera observes that a key difference between herself and her peers is the presence of their fathers. Her classmates have fathers who are, presumably, active in their lives and who have stable, well-paying jobs working for the government. By contrast, her father is absent and is not contributing to her family’s financial well-being. This realization highlights another way in which Vera struggles with fitting in, in that her family does not resemble the conventional happy family.

“I knew the party wasn’t right. Close, but not right. It was too poor. It was too Russian. It was too different. I was never going to fit in with the American kids.”

Vera is reflecting on her recent birthday sleepover and how it ended poorly, with all the girls going home in the middle of the night. She had attempted to recreate Sarah’s party to the best of her ability, but she realizes that it was only an approximate recreation. She couldn’t get the components or “ingredients” quite right, which she attributes to her class and cultural difference. Vera’s desire to fit in and social ineptitude also introduce the reader to the overarching theme The Challenges of Adolescence.

“Camp. Like all my classmates went to. Except at this camp, everyone would be Russian like me. I had to go. I had to go.”

In this quote, Vera has learned of a summer camp for Russian youth from one of the girls at her church. She has been viewing summer camp as yet another aspect of the “typical” childhood that she does not have access to, but knowing that this camp is for kids “like her” gives her renewed hope with regard to fitting in. In this moment, she has decided that if she cannot fit in with her American peers she will instead lean in to her Russian heritage in hopes of being accepted among those peers instead.

“There was a lot of marching. And yelling. And flags. When had everyone learned all this stuff?”

Vera is describing her initial observations of the activities at her Russian summer camp, ORRA. She realizes that all the marching, chanting, and flag waving is not what she imagined summer camp would be like. She also notices that the other campers are already very familiar and comfortable with these camp activities. Vera begins to realize that even among a group of peers with the same cultural heritage as her, there may still be barriers to her inclusion and acceptance.

“‘Why are you faking it? Your accent is fine.’ ‘Wh-what? I’m not faking anything.’”

In this exchange, Vera has just finished attempting to read an article in Russian out loud during one of the camp classes. She stumbles through each word until the counselor assigns someone else to read. One of the campers sitting near Vera accuses her of “faking it” since her accent is correct and she can clearly speak the language. Vera realizes that because she has never had an opportunity to read much Russian, her reading comprehension is far behind that of her peers. This is another moment that reinforces Vera’s “outsider” status among her fellow Russian peers, due to her lack of practice and knowledge.

“I wished I was still eight.”

Vera thinks this quote to herself as she is looking at the campsite of the belochki, or younger girl campers. She notices that they are all laughing, running around, braiding each other’s hair, and otherwise having a great time. She contrasts that to her current experience among the older girls, where she is left out and sometimes made fun of. Even though she desperately wants to grow up, this moment shows that she also still longs to be a kid, and that she is feeling stuck in between the two.

“Something I noticed is that the other kids have bad teeth like me and Phil. I guess in Russia we weren’t really taking care of our teeth since we went to the dentist as soon as we got to America. For once I blend in.”

Vera makes this observation in a letter to her mother. She implies that she and her brother typically feel like outsiders because of their teeth, which are full of crowns and fillings. However, their Russian and Russian American peers have very similar issues with their teeth, which leads Vera to conclude there must be a cultural connection. Her realization also provides her with one small hope that she may be able to blend or fit in, even if it is only on the level of physical appearance.

“Maybe they already know each other, but they don’t know you yet. Once they realize how smart you are, and what a good artist, I think they’ll like you very much.”

In this quote, Vera’s mother is providing her with reassurance that she will eventually be able to get along with her fellow campers. She is attempting to convey to Vera that if she would be herself and show off what makes her special—her intelligence and artistic ability—she may find it easier to make friends. Vera’s mother understands The Power of Confidence and Self-Discovery at Vera’s age, though Vera still longs to fit in with others who don’t necessarily share her interests.

“Maybe the part of my brain that likes boys hadn’t grown in yet.”

After giving a drawing to each of the Sashas, they insist that Vera should make each of them a drawing of their crush, Alexei. They point him out to Vera, admiring how cute he is, and Vera responds with placid confusion. She tries to see Alexei the way the Sashas see him but cannot figure out what they like about him. By attributing this lack of understanding to a lack of development in her brain, Vera demonstrates the tension between her desire to grow up and the fact that, in many ways, she is still a young girl.

“I’m seventeen, so I’m older and wiser than you. And something I figured out is, friends you buy aren’t as good as friends you get for free. ”

This quote is spoken by Vera’s camp counselor, Natasha. She has observed the older girls giving Vera extra attention in exchange for her artwork. Natasha attempts to subtly advise Vera to be wary of her new “friends” by drawing a comparison between things that are bought versus others that are freely given. Vera takes Natasha literally and does not fully understand the points she is trying to make, though this moment foreshadows the doubt and regret that Vera will soon feel about how much she herself gives to the Sashas in exchange for their friendship. This quote also established Natasha as a mentor figure for Vera by exhibiting the worry and care she shows to her.

“I didn’t [have my period], but suddenly I wanted one more than anything.”

In this passage, the older girls have just explained to Vera what a maxi pad is and are treating her patronizingly because they realize she has not started her period. Highlighting the theme of The Challenges of Adolescence, Vera decides that she desperately wants to get her period “more than anything.” Because of her relationship with the older girls, Vera decides that perhaps her age, instead of her cultural identity, is the reason she cannot properly make friends.

“I was done trying to make people like me. Natasha was right, friends like that weren’t worth having. I didn’t need them. I didn’t need anybody. I was going to spend this week having a great time on my own.”

Vera has just been socially ostracized by the other girls in the camp for accidentally causing everyone’s candy to be confiscated. Rather than leaning into her need for acceptance, Vera instead takes the opposite approach, and decides she will no longer try to make friends at all. She uses Natasha’s previous advice for justification, without understanding that she was not suggesting that Vera keep to herself, but rather, should seek out friends who better understand her.

“No. I don’t need anybody. I don’t need this camp, and I don’t need you!”

This quote comes from Vera as she is shouting at her counselor Natasha in frustration. Natasha is once again checking on Vera’s well-being, but Vera rejects all her attempts at support. She adamantly decides to isolate herself, lashing out at Natasha in the process. This quote provides an amount of irony and foreshadowing for the reader, as Vera will in fact need to rely on others in the near future. Natasha will be just one of those people, providing her with support from behind the scenes.

“I tried making friends. They didn’t like me. I tried being alone. They liked me even less. The only ones that liked me in this whole camp were these dumb chipmunks. And now I was going to die of rabies.”

Vera is reflecting on the fact that her attempts to fit in and her attempts to remove herself from the social sphere have both turned out poorly for her. She remarks that even her woodland friends, the chipmunks she has been feeding, have betrayed her, as one has bitten her. Vera is overcome with anxiety that she has rabies. This passage is particularly melodramatic, as Vera details the various miseries and injustices that she has suffered.

“The Orthodox Liturgy is a beautiful, melodic chant. I understood maybe a third of it. But the icons…The gilded script, the tiny pieces of saints’ bones in jewel-encrusted frames…And I never forgot these people died horrible deaths. I had a picture of my namesake, Saint Vera, over my bed at home. She was tortured and beheaded, along with her sisters, while her mother watched. If I was learning anything from the history classes, it was that Russians were bred for suffering.”

In this passage, Vera is describing the details and objects associated with the Russian Orthodox church service, admiring their mysterious and artful construction. She is also reflecting on the ways that suffering pervades her religion, her culture, and her history. She considers the fact that even her saintly namesake died a horrible death. Although Vera’s experiences are clearly not as severe as the saints and martyrs, her camp experiences are nonetheless solidifying for Vera The Significance of Culture and Heritage to Identity.

“These little kids had no idea about the misery that awaited them. Well, maybe that one did.”

Vera is once again observing the younger girls’ camp, feeling jealous at how comparatively innocent and unaware they are. She does, however, observe one young girl who is crying, turning to look at her with eyes full of tears. Vera admits that not all of the girls in the belochki camp are having an equally good time. This moment also foreshadows Vera’s eventual meeting with the crying girl, who she will learn is Kira, the girl with the missing guinea pig.

“I still couldn’t make my brain see Alexei as cute. He just looked like a bully.”

On the long hike into the woods, Vera observes Alexei, as well as the way the other girls are fawning over him. She admits that she still doesn’t understand what they see in him, and directly states that not only is he unattractive to her, but there is also a meanness to him that actually repels her. In this moment, Vera reveals that in spite of her own insecurities, she has a keen ability to read other people. Indeed, just a few pages later, Alexei will tease and bully another boy named Gregor, showing that Vera’s observations of him were accurate.

“I got perfect grades on tests back home. I loved tests. I loved doing well on tests. Normally I would take better notes than this. A week and half was plenty of time, though. I was going to get that badge.”

This passage comes after Vera has decided that she wants to take the Third Rank exam in order to receive a badge for her uniform. She describes herself as a strong student and test-taker and bemoans the fact that she did not prepare for the test more throughout her time at camp. This quote also showcases Vera’s newfound self-assuredness after the long hike. She believes that she has figured out a way to “win” at the camp experience and is determined to do so.

“I wanted to make a field guide with a drawing of every animal that lives in these woods.”

This quote is spoken by Kira, the younger camper who becomes Vera’s close friend. Vera is admiring Kira’s drawings of wildlife, and Kira explains that her goal was to create as many of these drawings as possible before camp ends. In this moment, Vera feels a kinship with Kira as a fellow artist. She also admires Kira’s honesty about who she is and what she enjoys, whereas Kira has been working to hide her true self for most of her time at camp.

“Maybe it was because I was older, or because I found Malchik. But I think she kind of looked up to me. Maybe it was uncool to hang out with a little kid. But I thought she was awesome.”

This passage showcases how Vera has developed a stronger sense of self, allowing her to unabashedly hang out with Kira without fear of what her fellow campers will think. She also enjoys the fact that, instead of looking up to and aspiring to be someone else, as she has been doing with the Sashas, someone admires Vera instead. Her friendship with Kira showcases that Vera now values genuine connection and the ability to be herself, rather than being viewed as “cool” by her peers more generally.

“We practiced the route to the boys camp…over…and over…till I pretty much could do it without looking.”

Vera and Kira decide that Vera needs to be the one to capture the flag from the boys’ camp during the final napadenya. Kira helps her practice following the trail through the woods, often blindfolded, so that she can find her way there in the middle of the night. Her practice for the flag war replaces her preparation for the Third Rank exam, demonstrating that obtaining the merit badge is no longer a top priority for Vera. In addition, this moment shows that she has grown as a camper, from a girl who hated the woods to one who can follow the paths through it with ease.

“My last day wasn’t all the different from the others…But it felt like the best one.”

Vera spends her last day at camp doing only the things she enjoys the most, from swimming to spending time with Kira. She acknowledges that it was not significantly different from the rest of her time at camp, signifying that it is her attitude and her view of the camp experience that has changed. Thanks to the relationships she’s built and her newfound self-assuredness, she’s able to fully appreciate what camp has to offer without worrying about how she is perceived by the rest of the campers, highlighting The Power of Confidence and Self-Discovery.