Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

“[S]he’s always asking me if I have boyfriends and if they’re Jewish. [...] [W]hat would I care if they’re Jewish or not?”

Blume introduces the theme of Religious Identity and Belonging early in the story through Grandma. Although Grandma and Margaret are close, Margaret is annoyed by Grandma’s constant questioning. Grandma is Jewish, and although she has never directly pushed for Margaret to become Jewish like her, Grandma harbors hope that one day Margaret will decide to embrace her Jewish heritage. Margaret is too young and inexperienced when it comes to religion to understand why it’s such a big deal, but this detail in Chapter 1 foreshadows Grandma’s reaction to learning that Margaret wants to go to temple with her.

“My father gets Playboy and I’ve seen those girls in the middle. Nancy looked like she had a long way to go. Almost as far as me.”

Although Nancy brags that she’s already growing breasts and will look like the girls in Playboy before long, Margaret has seen enough Playboy content to know what those models look like. Blume uses this exchange to show how young girls learn to compare their bodies to other women at a very early age. Nancy is only 11 years old, but she is already comparing herself to the adult women featured in publications like Playboy, and these comparisons often result in disappointment and poor body image later in life. Such comparisons also reflect The Pressure to Grow Up and “Become a Woman” theme.

“Why are mothers always right about those things? As it turned out, half the girls had on knee socks anyway.”

When Margaret’s mother learns that her daughter plans to go to school without socks, she tries to warn her that she will get blisters. Margaret waves off her mother’s concerns and parrots Nancy’s claim that only babies wear socks on the first day of school. When Margaret arrives at school, she learns that Nancy’s warning was inaccurate, and no one cares if she wears socks. Margaret ends up with blisters, and Blume uses this moment to show how easy it is to become fixated on fashion—especially when the advice comes from someone who is supposed to be a friend.

“Nancy decided we should all have secret sensational names such as Alexandra, Veronica, Kimberly and Mavis.”

By adopting alter egos, Nancy believes the PTS will be more glamorous and secretive. However, this decision also symbolizes how Margaret starts to lose herself in the world of Nancy and the PTS. Margaret starts worrying about things she never worried about before, and she is afraid to be herself and share how she feels because she isn’t sure how Nancy will react. Although the PTS stop using their secret names after some time, Margaret still behaves like a different person until she no longer recognizes herself.

“I lived in New York for eleven and a half years and I don’t think anybody ever asked me about my religion. [...] Now, all of a sudden, it was the big thing in my life.”

Margaret’s move to New Jersey signals many changes in her life. Not only is she going to public school for the first time and living in a suburb, but she is also plunged into a community where religion indicates where a person belongs. The behaviors of the residents of Farbook show the link between Religious Identity and Belonging. Margaret doesn’t understand why her new friends and teacher are suddenly so invested in her religious beliefs. Still, the peer pressure starts to get to her. In her quest to be just like everyone else, Margaret questions her lifelong absence of religion.

“We must—we must—we must increase our bust!”

Nancy’s mantra becomes one of the most recognizable lines in the book. When Margaret, Gretchen, and Janie learn that they have smaller chests than Nancy, they quickly adopt her “secret method” of growing: They chant and flex their chests together in hopes of seeing growth, and the exercise carries over into the privacy of Margaret’s bedroom and her conversations with God. Nancy’s method employs both physical exercise and willpower, and Margaret believes that she can will her body to hurry up and grow. The Pressure to Grow Up and “Become a Woman” weighs heavily on Margaret.

“Why do they wait until sixth grade when you already know everything!”

Margaret’s comment alludes to the idea that children start learning about things like puberty, sex, and periods long before the adults in their life are willing to talk to them about it. After all, Margaret knows that her father gets Playboy magazines, so she has been exposed to some level of sexual content. Her mother has already told her about female puberty, and Nancy is already learning how to kiss properly. Childhood curiosity often outpaces adult comfort.

“I think it’s time for me to decide what to be. I can’t go on being nothing forever, can I?”

Margaret’s parents have always told her she can choose her religion once she is old enough. However, within a few weeks of moving to Farbrook, Margaret thinks it might be time for her to decide. Margaret worries that if she waits too long, she’ll float through life without any direction, and when she’s older, she worries that it will be too late for her to choose her own religion.

“By the end of the school year I’ll know all there is to know about religion. And before I start junior high I’ll know which one I am. Then I’ll be able to join the Y or the Center like everybody else.”

Margaret believes that choosing a religion won’t be hard, and the choice will be obvious. After her first trip to temple with Grandma, Margaret thinks that she’ll soon become an expert on religious practices. Margaret hasn’t even begun to dive into the doctrine of Judaism, and she bases her observations purely on one-time experiences. Still, she is eager to see what else is out there and believes that if she keeps exploring, the right religion will fall into her lap. Margaret is hoping that by going to temple and visiting churches, she will feel God, and her choice will be apparent.

“Laura Danker wore a sweater to school for the first time. Mr. Benedict’s eyes almost popped out of his head. Actually, I didn’t notice Mr. Benedict’s eyes, but Nancy told me.”

Throughout the novel, Nancy comments on Mr. Benedict’s behavior toward Laura. Nancy claims that Mr. Benedict stares at Laura and her chest, and she suggests that he might be attracted to Laura. Conveniently, no one else ever notices Mr. Benedict behaving this way, and Blume heavily implies that Nancy is making it up to generate hot gossip. Nancy fails to realize that her lies could result in serious consequences, and Margaret never questions the validity of her friend’s claims until much later in the novel.

“And I wondered, did they list Philip Leroy because they really liked him or were they doing what I did—making him number one because he was so good-looking. Maybe they were ashamed to write who they really liked too.”

When Margaret and the other girls decide to keep a list of boys they like in their Boy Books, Margaret considers writing down Moose’s name. However, she worries about what Nancy will say, so she chooses Philip Leroy like the other girls. When Margaret dares to list one boy besides Philip, Nancy mocks her. Over time, Margaret starts to question whether or not she actually likes Philip Leroy or if she is submitting to peer pressure. Margaret starts to bury the parts of herself that make her unique in the interest of fitting in, and she cannot talk about her crush with her closest friends.

“This year I discovered something really strange. I discovered that my mother was sending a Christmas card to her parents in Ohio. [...] I had the feeling I wasn’t supposed to know.”

Her whole life, Margaret has known why her mother is estranged from her parents. Margaret has never met her maternal grandparents, and she is shocked to discover the Christmas card addressed to them. Margaret suspects this is her mother’s secret, and Blume uses this moment to hint that Margaret’s mother misses her parents and longs to reconnect with them after so many years of silence.

“When they came out Philip was still smiling but Laura wasn’t. Nancy poked me and gave me her knowing look.”

During Norman Fishbein’s party, the sixth graders engage in kissing games. Margaret watches Laura and Philip go into the bathroom, and when they come out, Laura doesn’t look happy. Although Nancy has tried to convince the other girls that Laura is promiscuous and has sexual experience with boys, Laura’s behavior at the party reinforces the truth: Laura is very shy and deeply uncomfortable with being treated like a sexual object.

“How can I stop worrying when I don’t know if I’m going to turn out normal?”

When Gretchen gets her period, Margaret becomes obsessed with the idea of getting her period. On average, most girls get their first period between 10 and 15 years old, and as an 11-year-old, Margaret has more than enough time. However, Margaret begins to worry about keeping up with her new friends, and when she learns that Nancy also got her period, Margaret begins to worry that she will never be “normal” like the other girls.

“Margaret, please don’t tell [...]. I’d die if the others knew.”

When Margaret learns that Nancy lied about getting her first period, she is shocked. Nancy is humiliated and tries telling Margaret that she didn’t lie: She really thought she got her period and was just confused. Margaret doesn’t buy it and starts questioning everything Nancy has ever said. Margaret realizes that Nancy makes up stories and was so desperate to look more grown-up that she lied about getting her period. Margaret feels sorry for Nancy, and for the first time, Margaret is not worried about keeping up with Nancy’s race to adulthood.

“I hated her. I hated her for being so big and beautiful and having all the boys stare at her.”

Although Margaret has learned that Nancy tends to lie about things, she still allows Nancy’s attitude toward Laura Danker to mess with her head. When Margaret looks at Laura, she sees an image of what she isn’t and might never be. Margaret’s struggles with her self-image, and jealousy starts to turn her bitter toward girls like Laura. Even though Margaret and Laura have never spoken before and Laura has never done anything to hurt her, Margaret decides that she hates Laura. Jealousy gets the best of Margaret, and she lashes out at Laura.

“You think it’s such a great game to make fun of me, don’t you? [...] Don’t you think I know all about you and your friends?”

When Margaret snaps at Laura and implies that she does “naughty” things with Evan and Moose, Laura explodes and calls out Margaret and her friends for bullying her. Laura might be quiet, but she isn’t stupid, and she has been ostracized by the PTS all school year. Laura finally hits her breaking point and reveals how hurtful Margaret and her friends’ behavior has been. Margaret is surprised, but when she thinks about the things that Nancy has lied about in the past, Margaret realizes that Laura is an innocent victim of gossip, sexism, and jealousy.

“Why God? Why do I only feel you when I’m alone?”

As Margaret’s study of religion gradually comes to a close, she finds herself no closer to choosing her religion than she was at the beginning of the school year. Margaret doesn’t understand why she can’t feel God’s presence in church or temple when so many other people do, and she realizes that she feels closest to God in the privacy of her heart and mind. Margaret starts to suspect that organized religion simply isn’t for her, but she is too afraid to admit it because she desperately wants to belong to one group or another.

“I haven’t forgiven my parents. You know that. I never will. But they’re coming. I can’t say no.”

The Hutchins have not been kind to their daughter, her husband, or their granddaughter over the years. However, when Margaret’s mother receives a letter stating that her parents plan to visit, she is cautiously optimistic. Despite all of the pain Margaret’s mother has lived through, she loves her parents and wants to give them a chance to come back into her life and get to know their granddaughter.

“How much do you want to bet it was a trip to New York all the time. They just stopped in to see you because it was convenient.”

Less than two days after the Hutchins arrive and cause a big fight in the Simon household, they announce that they are leaving New Jersey and heading to New York. The Simons are confused because they thought the Hutchins would stay with them for a week, but once the Hutchins leave, Margaret’s father suggests that they stopped by under false pretenses. Margaret’s mother is devastated, and Margaret realizes that she was forced to give up her vacation with Grandma for nothing.

“As long as she loves me and I love her, what difference does religion make?”

After the big fight about religion in Chapter 21, Margaret feels especially sore about the topic of faith. When Grandma makes a surprise appearance in Chapter 23, Margaret’s enthusiasm is quickly dampened when Grandma takes the opportunity to call Margaret Jewish. Margaret still doesn’t understand why Grandma cares so much about Margaret being Jewish, and she is hurt when she considers the idea that Grandma might love Margaret more if she were Jewish.

“I don’t think a person can decide to be a certain religion just like that. It’s like having to choose your own name. You think about it a long time and then you keep changing your mind.”

After nearly a year of exploring her religious options, Margaret has an epiphany: She realizes that religion isn’t something that is easily chosen. After all, some people are raised with certain beliefs, and some people feel strong emotions when they go to certain places of worship. Margaret has had neither of these experiences, which has complicated her decision to choose a religion. Margaret has placed so much pressure on herself to find a place where she belongs that she lost sight of what religion was supposed to be in the first place: a means of finding comfort, purpose, and acceptance in the world.

“What was wrong with me anyway? When I was eleven I hardly ever cried. Now anything and everything could start me bawling.”

Margaret does not think she is a woman yet. After all, she is still flat-chested, and she still hasn’t gotten her period. However, she notes that she has become more emotional over the past few months, and these mood swings are often one of the earliest indicators of approaching puberty. Margaret’s body and mind are changing and preparing to welcome even bigger changes, even if Margaret doesn’t yet realize it.