A Very Large Expanse of Sea

Shirin skips biology class to avoid Ocean. She goes eagerly to breakdancing practice, but as soon as she arrives, Navid tells her people saw her with Ocean in his car and are spreading gossip. Navid shocks Shirin with two pieces of information: Ocean is a junior, not a sophomore as she assumed; and he is the “golden boy” of the basketball team. The basketball program is incredibly important to the school community: “They’d had a banner season the year prior and were still undefeated. […] I heard the constant, almost daily reminders about how the season was starting in just two weeks, that we should remember to support out team […]” (177). Shirin is horrified to learn how popular Ocean is in the school.

Arriving home, Shirin is glad her parents have no interest in her schooling. The only time they reacted to a school incident was over a year before when boys planned and carried out an attack on Shirin. They “pinned” her to the concrete and tore her scarf off, wrapping it around her neck. The event occurred right after September 11, and though Navid brought the police to stop the attack, the event remains “a cauterizing moment” in Shirin’s memory. The police did not arrest the attackers and in fact told Shirin she should stop wearing her headscarf; one asked if she spoke English and gave her a card for Child Protective Services. Later, her father suggested she stop wearing her headscarf as well. Shirin insisted she was fine. Within a few months her parents moved the family to a new place.

Inside, Shirin’s mother is cooking dinner and the smell of onions frying soothes her. Shirin respects her mother and would like to talk with her about Ocean but cannot bring herself to do so. Shirin avoids Ocean’s texts but finally calls him at three in the morning. She tells him their kiss was “perfect” but that she cannot continue in a relationship. She tells him she did not know about his basketball or popularity. Ocean reveals that he took up basketball when one of his mother’s boyfriends taught him, because it made his mother happy. His mother’s parents died in an accident, bequeathing their inheritance to her and setting off years of his mother’s depression and distance. Ocean tried to care for his mother, but when she felt better, she turned her attention to socializing and finding a husband. His mother’s uncaring attitude devastates Ocean. He likes that Shirin did not know about his basketball life; he is tired of the pressure and importance others place on it. He begs Shirin to spend time together, and she gives in. 

At school the next day, Shirin notices more blatant stares and comments than usual. At lunch, a “beautiful Indian girl” tells Shirin that her behavior with Ocean sets an awful example: “Do you know how hard I have to work, every single day, to undo the kind of damage people like you do to our faith? To the image of Muslim women in general?” (195). The girl tells Shirin she does not deserve to “wear hijab” (her headscarf). Shirin promptly tells the girl off: “You don’t know shit about how I’ve lived or what I’ve been through or why I choose to wear hijab and it’s not your place to judge me or how I live my life” (195). The girl tells Shirin she is a “horrible” person and that she will pray for Shirin. Shirin tells the girl to “focus” the prayer effort on the test she (Shirin) has that day. Shirin meets up with Ocean at the tree. They share the opinion that the day was “weird,” but they agree to continue.

Shirin insists that she and Ocean spend time together in short bits. Ramadan begins, and with it 30 days of fasting from sunrise to sunset. Navid hates the fast period and complains that it wrecks his diet and appearance. Shirin, however, enjoys the mental clarity fasting gives her and feels more capable for it. She does not tell her parents about Ocean, assuming they will not allow dating. She tells Ocean to come to the breakdance battle she and the crew attend that weekend; he agrees but says he wanted to see her one-on-one. They agree to attend the battle with the crew and then continue the date alone.

Shirin sees battles often now, but this battle is the biggest, loudest, most crowded one yet. She and Ocean stand close for an hour, and he wraps his arms around her waist. They do not talk much but she finds it difficult to focus on the event when their physical chemistry is so distracting.

Navid agrees to cover for Shirin so that she and Ocean can have an hour alone. Ocean takes Shirin to a park and its basketball court. He tells her he comes to this location, where he learned to play, to recall fond memories of the sport. Shirin asks why he cannot just stop playing. He explains that many people are counting on him, and he owes his coach. Also, basketball is also one of the few things he talks about with his mother. Shirin points out that none of those people seem to care about his happiness with basketball, and that if he keeps playing, she (Shirin) will be the one who cares about him. They talk on the phone that night, and Shirin tells Ocean that she misses him and wishes they could be together again. She also bravely tells him she wishes they would have kissed again. Ocean says he feels the same way.