A Stolen Life: A Memoir

This summary section includes Chapter 11: “Learning I Was Pregnant,” Chapter 12: “Driving to a Trailer,” Chapter 13: “Waiting for Baby”, Chapter 14: “Taking Care of a Baby,” Chapter 15: “Sarge,” Chapter 16: “Second Baby” Chapter 17: “The Starting of Printing for Less.”

On Easter Sunday of 1994, Phillip and Nancy spend the day with Jaycee. They even give her an Easter basket as a present. They then inform her that they think she might be pregnant because she’s gotten so big lately. Jaycee worries that Phillip might try to take the baby away. “I come to realize that I can never give up my baby. Giving her away was not even an option. I would figure a way out before I ever gave her away. I don’t know how I would do that, but I know I wouldn’t stop until I did” (81). Fortunately, Phillip seems pleased about the impending birth.

Toward the end of Jaycee’s pregnancy, Phillip announces that they need to leave the house. He got a tip that the police might come to search the place. After stuffing Jaycee below the back seat of their car, Phillip and Nancy drive for hours. Eventually, they reach a trailer that Phillip says a friend has left him. This is the first real house Jaycee has entered in two years. It has a kitchen, running water, and a flush toilet. Later, Phillip and Nancy go back to their home to see if the coast is clear. Jaycee thinks, “I’m in my mind, thinking about what my life used to be like. Reliving memories is one of the ways I keep my past alive inside. I don’t want to forget my family back home. I fear that one day I won’t remember what my mom looks like” (85).

In the days that follow, Phillip and Jaycee prepare for the baby’s arrival by watching television shows and videos of the birthing process. Phillip is confident that he can deliver the baby himself, and Nancy is a nurse’s aide. When Jaycee goes into labor, her first daughter arrives on August 18, 1994. She says, “I am fourteen years old and very, very scared” (88). Phillip decides to call the girl “Angel” because he has developed some religious delusions and believes he hears voices from heaven. Jaycee likes the name because it symbolizes hope to her.

As the months progress, Jaycee enjoys caring for her daughter. She calls the baby “A,” since real names are forbidden for fear of discovery. Her life improves because Phillip and Nancy buy whatever she needs for the baby, and Phillip doesn’t insist on sex very often anymore.

By 1996, A is a toddler, and Phillip has fixed up “next door” to be Jaycee’s permanent home. During this period, Nancy arrives with a cockatiel that she received from a friend at work. The bird had been abused, and he’s very mean. Eventually, Jaycee wins the bird’s trust and calls him Sarge. He becomes quite a singer and delights both Jaycee and A. One afternoon, Nancy takes the bird outside for sunlight but forgets to bring his cage back in until after dark. The temperature has dropped by this time, and cockatiels can’t tolerate cold. Even though Sarge seems fine in the evening, Jaycee discovers the bird lying dead the next morning. She says, “I didn’t see Nancy that day. Later I learned she couldn’t face me because she thought I blamed her. I do” (95).

Over the next few months, Jaycee finds herself pregnant again, despite the fact that Phillip has drastically reduced his sexual activity with her. Once more, she frets that Phillip will want to take the baby away, but he reacts positively instead: “He says he’s really happy and that he knows it’s going to be another girl because God knows that’s what he needs. I am seventeen years old and about to have my second baby” (97).

In anticipation of the second child, Jaycee’s life improves again as Phillip builds a high fence in the backyard so that she can finally go outside. He and Nancy also buy her a real bed with a bunk on top. Until now, she has been sleeping on a pallet. Although Phillip swears that God is helping him stop his sex and drug addictions, Jaycee is skeptical. He still uses Nancy to help him videotape little girls at public playgrounds. Jaycee says, “I still don’t understand his problem. All I know is that he has one. At least there are no more ‘runs’ for me for now. I hope he leaves those other kids he videotapes alone” (98).

While Jaycee awaits the arrival of baby number two, Phillip starts a printing business. Jaycee now has the freedom to move between “next door” and the “studio,” where he has set up his office. She soon displays a talent for design that Phillip recognizes: “Phillip says that he thinks I should do the workups and he will get the jobs and help with the printing […] It’s so nice to not be bored all the time like before” (100).