A River in Darkness: One Man's Escape from North Korea

In the opening chapter, Masaji uses both his Japanese and Korean names to describe himself, emphasizing his dual heritage as the primary source of his internal conflict. Masaji characterizes his mixed identity as a “misfortune,” signaling the centrality of his quest toward Belonging in a Divided World. The word “misfortune” conveys a sense of being cursed, unlucky, or fated to a challenging life due to the cultural and national divide he experiences as part of a mixed family. Masaji’s detachment, as someone “born between two worlds” (3), mirrors the historical and political tensions between Japan and Korea at the time. Though he does not yet detail his time in North Korea in the opening chapter, the duality he establishes foreshadows how this profound sense of alienation continues after relocating to North Korea, as the distinct expectations and prejudices each “world” held ultimately left him without a sense of belonging in either place.

Masaji’s family dynamics ignite his struggle with his mixed identity. As a Japanese Korean child growing up in a Japanese society averse to Koreans, Masaji felt perpetually out of place. Though cared for and loved by his family, he struggled with his relatives’ comments about his father. Masaji initially perceived his father through his absence and the image his mother’s family painted of him. When Do Sam-dal was finally released from prison and his abuse toward Miyoko ensued, Masaji saw in him—the only Korean figure in his life—a confirmation of the negative stereotypes around him. Do Sam-dal became the embodiment of the “barbarian,” and his new Korean partner’s similarly abusive behavior accentuated this racial stereotype. Adding to this, his father’s seemingly preferential treatment toward Kanehara, his partner, complicates Masaji’s internal conflict: “At first, I wondered why he never hit Kanehara. My guess is that it was because she was Korean and didn’t serve as a constant reminder of all that he couldn’t have” (13). Masaji reasons that his father’s abusive behavior stems from societal prejudice and shame, and that Miyoko—a Japanese woman from the society that ostracized him—was an easy target for his rage. This realization sheds light on the cyclical nature of abuse explored in the text, wherein victims of other abuses can become perpetrators of violence: Do Sam-dal is subject to frequent discrimination and anti-Korean racism in Japan, which creates a deep resentment and anger that contributes to his acts of physical violence. As Masaji finds himself averse to both the prejudiced Japanese society and the abusive Korean role models in his life, he feels more alone in both worlds.

His encounter with Lion, a caring friend, prompts a change in his perspective, as witnessing a Korean family’s kindness directly challenges the negative stereotypes Masaji has internalized from Do Sam-dal. Lion’s household becomes a refuge, a space where Masaji can find solace and acceptance and feel a sense of Belonging in a Divided World. His positive firsthand experience counters the narratives that shaped his monolithic view, thus humanizing the Korean community and even making it more desirable than the Japanese community because it offers more acceptance. Further, just as Lion’s family challenged Masaji’s preconceived notions, the memoir’s empathetic detailing of ordinary people caught in extraordinary circumstances offers a connection to their hopes and struggles.

Masaji’s empathetic framing and humanizing of both Koreans and Japanese citizens is present in his considerations of how individuals come to enact Desperate Measures in Desperate Times. Though he does not excuse the acts he witnesses, Masaji contextualizes the underlying forces that contributed to their existence to provide balance and explore nuance. He humanizes his father by exploring the societal pressures and injustices that fueled his life choices. Masaji understands the circumstances that drove his father to illegality and violence, as the Korean community was subjected to inhumane working conditions and brutal colonial rule. Do Sam-dal, and many others, turned to crime as a form of freedom from Japanese colonialism and a means of coping with severe discrimination and limited opportunities. Do Sam-dal’s brutal behavior, while not a direct translation of what he has personally experienced, shows a desperate need to assert control to survive in a hostile environment, even if his primary target is Miyoko rather than the larger Japanese community.

The author’s portrayal of his mother and other returnees’ decisions is similarly nuanced. Miyoko’s decisions—to escape her abuser and later to repatriate to North Korea—are not framed as abandonment or cruelty, but rather as tragic consequences of her intolerable situation. Her decision to flee her abusive marriage, despite the agony of leaving her children behind, came as a desperate bid for safety, as her role in the family’s repatriation was likely an attempt to limit danger for herself and her children. Masaji also recognizes the power of indoctrination and Zainichi Koreans’ vulnerability to it, even though the Korean community profoundly impacted his life’s trajectory. Years of brutal colonial rule and discrimination likely left many Koreans yearning for a chance at a better life, no matter the cost. Masaji’s thorough exploration suggests an understanding that such unwavering belief stemmed from a desperate need for hope. Thus, his memoir depicts how extreme circumstances can force individuals into making desperate choices that highlight a need for escape.

Regarding his own hardships, the author uses powerful imagery to foreshadow the perilous nature of his journey ahead. The metaphor of being “born” five times highlights the many life experiences that forced him to adapt and reinvent himself. The symbolism behind the Yalu River—the very site of his escape and a representation of the boundary between oppression and freedom—symbolizes the uncertainty and hope just beyond Masaji’s reach. The river “shrouded in mist” (1) and its distance, simultaneously so little and so vast, signals “the distance between life and death” (1) and the life-threatening risks he faced. The imagery introduces the danger in Masaji’s journey and sets the tone for his story of resilience and resourcefulness.