A High Five for Glenn Burke

“Mom’s big on self-care, and she’s always saying that when you take better care of yourself, you’re more productive, less stressed, and better at decision-making. But lately, she hasn’t exactly been taking her own advice.”

Despite Silas’s mother’s belief in the importance of self-care, she is extremely busy with work. She has forgotten to ask Silas about his presentation and is upset with herself for forgetting. The above quote also features the informal, conversational tone that permeates the book—“Mom’s big on self-care […]” An informal, conversational tone and first-person POV are common in middle-grade novels.

“Mom knows I can’t stand that he still calls me Swade, but she won’t say anything because she says it’s my place to tell him, not hers.”

Silas is unable to tell his father that he dislikes the nickname. His mom wants Silas to be the one to tell him, foreshadowing Silas’s later struggle with being authentic and telling the truth.

“I’m telling her tomorrow. That means, tomorrow’s the day. Tomorrow’s the day everything changes, and I do mean everything.”

Silas is working up the courage to tell his best friend Zoey something that he believes will change everything. He keeps this something secret from the reader, furthering the book’s suspense and intrigue. This quote also uses repetition for emphasis, repeating “tomorrow” and “tomorrow’s the day.”

“Glenn Burke was gay. That was his secret. That was the secret the Dodgers knew and didn’t want anyone to find out. It didn’t matter that he was their five-tool talent who was supposed to be the next Willie Mays. And it didn’t matter that he was their starting center fielder for the opening game of the World Series against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium.”

Silas finally reveals one of the secrets he has been keeping from the reader and from everyone he has so far told about Glenn Burke—that Burke was gay. Silas’s belief that this is still a secret, 40 years after Burke officially came out, reveals his fears that people will learn that he himself is gay.

“Suddenly, I reach for Zoey and hug her, and she hugs me back, and if ever there was a moment when I needed a hug, it is this moment right now. I start to cry, harder than I’ve cried in the longest time and harder than I’ve ever cried in front of Zoey. She keeps hugging me and doesn’t let go until I finally do.”

Silas’s friendship with Zoey is deeply important to Silas. When he comes out to her, he demonstrates The Importance of Friendship and the trust he has placed in her. The above passage uses long sentences to create a sense of breathlessness, mimicking Silas’s sense of urgency and relief.

“Zoey’s double-dimple grinning, and if ever there was a moment I needed Zoey to be double-dimple grinning, it is this moment right now.”

At first, when Silas tells Zoey that he is gay, he senses something weird in her smile. He is nervous that something has changed between them. Seeing her real smile return to her face reassures him that everything is okay.

“I’ve never led off a game with an over-the-fence home run, and I’ve never hit an opposite-field, over-the-fence home run…until now.”

Since coming out to Zoey, Silas feels like something has changed. He is playing baseball better than ever before, as if revealing his secret has helped him unlock abilities he did not know he had. It has also provided him with catharsis and unleashed a burden, making him lighter.

“We live in a time where the difference between fact and fiction, the difference between truth and untruth, is more difficult to discern than ever. Far too many are far too quick to believe anything and everything they hear.”

Ms. Washington teaches her class about the importance of the truth. Her warning that people should not believe everything they hear foreshadows Silas’s lie about Zoey later on in the book.

“I didn’t like it when she told me to relax on the phone the other day, and I don’t like her telling me now, but I don’t say anything. It’s the first time we’ve been alone since her house, and if I say something, it’ll only add to the weirdness I’m not imagining.”

Silas’s worries about something having changed between him and Zoey return. Despite the fact that Zoey is trying to comfort him, he is upset by what she says. She thinks that him being gay is not that big of a deal, but he feels differently. Zoey’s support is flawed—her telling him to relax minimizes and dismisses his feelings.

“That word never sounded like that before. I hear it all the time like that—at school, out shopping, online, at baseball—but this time it sounded different. It sounded scary.”

When Silas’s teammates call him gay, he realizes that the word sounds different to him now. Despite the fact that he has heard it used as an insult before, it has taken on a new edge now that he feels people could easily discover his identity.

“Other kids go along with it when kids say it. Other kids always go along with it. Not every kid, but the kids who don’t go along with it never say anything. They don’t stop it. They just sit there silently, because if they do say something, kids might think. Even when they sit there silently, kids might think.”

Silas knows that kids do not speak up when they hear other kids being anti-gay because like him, they are worried that if they do, people will think that they are gay. Silas is so worried about people finding out that he is gay that it consumes his every thought. The above quote uses repetition for emphasis, mirroring Silas’s anxiety (bolded for emphasis): “Other kids go along with it when kids say it. Other kids always go along with it. Not every kid, but the kids who don’t go along with it never say anything. They don’t stop it. They just sit there silently, because if they do say something, kids might think. Even when they sit there silently, kids might think.”

“Suddenly, it’s silent, and I’m staring at Zoey again, and she’s staring back at me again. There’s no longer any doubt about the weirdness between us, not that there was any doubt, but now I know beyond a reasonable one that Zoey feels it, too.”

Silas is so caught up with what he is going through that he does not consider Zoey’s feelings about things. After their fight, he realizes that both of them know that things are different between them. The above passage uses body language and gesture—staring—to convey the emotional interiority of the characters and the awkwardness between them.

“‘I’m serious. You be you. Keep being authentic.’ He rubs my head with his glove. ‘You have my word that I’m going to do my part…I’m going to do my part to make sure the Renegades…that we’re the community it should be, the community you deserve.’”

When Silas tells Coach Webb that he is gay, he takes another important step on his journey of Self-Acceptance and Coming of Age. Webb does his best to assure Silas that the Renegades will always be a welcoming place for him and to tell him that he should always be himself, no matter what.

“So many of the kids in the coming-out videos talk about how telling someone you trust gives you confidence and that you feel relieved and free, but I didn’t realize just how much. You can’t realize just how much until you do it.”

Watching coming out videos on YouTube gives Silas the courage to start coming out to the people in his life. Since telling Zoey and Coach Webb, Silas has felt the confidence and relief that other people talk about in their videos, and he wants to tell his mom as well. However, both their schedules are so busy that he has not yet found the right time. Though Silas never tells his mother in the novel, it is implied that he eventually will. The important thing is not that Silas comes out, but that he gains the confidence to do so and gains confidence in himself.

“No wonder he was never able to play as well as people thought he would. No wonder he kept getting hurt. All this stuff weighs you down and holds you down and keeps you down. And it weighs you down and holds you down and keeps you down more and more and more with every passing moment.”

Silas relates to Glenn Burke’s experience as a gay baseball player. He feels like he understands the struggles that Burke must have gone through being closeted while playing for the Dodgers. He feels the burden of not being able to be authentic. The above passage uses polysyndeton, where a long string of words are separated by the same conjunction, in this case “and.” This creates a breathless feeling (bolded for emphasis): “All this stuff weighs you down and holds you down and keeps you down. And it weighs you down and holds you down and keeps you down more and more and more with every passing moment.”

“I press my palms against my temples. I should have never listened to the kids in the videos, and I should have never listened to what was written in the letters, and I should have never said something to Zoey, and I should have never said something to Webb, and I should have never—”

As Silas spirals, worrying that people will find out that he is gay, he regrets ever opening up to Zoey. He believes that he should have just kept everything to himself because if he had, then his life could have continued as normal. The breathlessness of the polysyndeton and cut-off final sentence mirror Silas’s anxiety.

“Glenn Burke died of AIDS. That’s what happened to most people when they got AIDS back then. I learned all about it on YouTube. I had no idea that’s what it was like back then, and I’m pretty sure most kids have no idea that’s what it was like.”

Silas thinks about what happened to Burke and realizes that he, like many kids his age, does not know that much about LGBTQ+ history. He starts to see Burke not just as a baseball player, but a complex person with a life outside of baseball.

“‘Glenn Burke was an anachronism,’ I say.

‘I guess you can say he was.’ Webb smiles. ‘Except you can’t say he didn’t belong.’”

Webb agrees with Silas that being gay meant that Burke was ahead of his time in many ways. However, he reminds Silas that being gay did not take away from Burke’s skills as a baseball player. He says this to assure Silas that he will always belong in the baseball world.

“‘Silas, what happened to Glenn Burke is not going to happen to you.’ He pops a handful of seeds into his mouth and stuffs them into his cheek. ‘Things have changed since back then, things are changing right now, and things will continue to change.’”

Webb constantly creates a safe space for Silas. He tries to help Silas understand that just because the baseball world did not accept Burke, it does not mean that they will never accept gay players; things are always changing. The above quote repeats “things” and “changed/changing/change” to create a sense of emphasis.

“You be you, Silas. No matter what anyone tells you, no matter what anyone says, your existence—who you are—is not controversial.”

Webb echoes his earlier call for Silas to be authentic. He reminds Silas that his existence is not controversial, which is something that Silas needs to hear, especially since Silas blames himself for Coach Noles, Brayden, and Malik leaving the team.

“‘No,’ Webb says firmly. He holds up a finger. ‘One lie. What you said about your friend was an untruth, but that’s it. Who you are is not a lie.’”

Webb says that just because Silas is not ready to tell people that he is gay does not mean that he is lying about himself. This is an important message for LGBTQ+ people to hear, especially those who are young or not ready to come out yet. Not coming out is not the same thing as telling a hurtful lie.

“The world needs more people like that—people who are passionate and energized. It’s an indescribable feeling for a mother to see such passion and energy in her son. Don’t ever lose that.”

Erica tells Silas how proud she is of his passion and love for baseball. This is another message that Silas needs to hear at this point in his journey; it reminds him that he belongs in the world of baseball.

“‘When you first find out, it does make a difference. When it involves you, it’s…it’s confusing. I know it shouldn’t be, and I don’t want it to be, and…’ She covers her mouth. ‘Grace told me I was being a horrible friend, and she was right.’”

Zoey feels like she has been a bad friend to Silas for letting his coming out change things between them. She admits that she feels guilty for not knowing better. After this conversation, the two friends reconcile, demonstrating the power and Importance of Friendship.