101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think

Wiest dispels the misconception that a person must love themselves, or be the best version of themselves, to receive love. In fact, she argues that allowing others to love is a part of loving oneself. Denying themselves or blaming themselves for not yet having love is the opposite.

The questions of this essay prompt the reader to consider what they are looking for, why they are looking for it, how they are looking for it, and whether they are truly ready to have it.

Wiest starts this essay by explaining how desperately lonely most people are and puts forth that the reason for this is that society lacks honesty. She argues that one needs to be honest, even if the truth is difficult to hear, in order to connect with others. She argues that the discomfort that comes from truth is nothing compared to the pain that comes from lies, even small ones.

Wiest lays out the reasons why pain is necessary for growth and ultimately joy. She explains the difference between pain and suffering, noting that pain is the message you must hear to make changes and that suffering is a choice to ignore the pain instead of listening. She explains that pain, breakdowns, and drastic changes are the beginnings of breakthroughs.

Wiest theorizes that it’s most difficult to let go of things that are not ours precisely because we know that they are not ours. She argues that the things that are truly meant for us come to us easily.

This essay puts forth 20 things that are not worth your time in your twenties. They focus on knowing when to give effort and when to walk away, learning to follow your own desires or tend to your own wounds, pausing your judgment of others, and only seeking pleasure rather than accepting all feelings.

Wiest clarifies that happiness is something one does, not something one has. Other things she says fulfilled people know include the knowledge that one is in full control of oneself and one’s own suffering and the idea that mindset changes everything.

The message of this essay is that people learn lessons when they lose love. This essay puts forth many truths. One is that one can love multiple people at once. Another is that no one can take love away when you are capable of giving it to yourself.

Here, West suggests that one learns to find pleasure in the simplest of things, like breathing, feeling, and cooking. She suggests that seeking “more” will only hide the happiness that is already within.

This essay reminds the reader that no one knows their life direction; predicting the future is futile, and all anyone can do is live one day at a time.

This essay focuses on the idea that everything one feels is a reflection of oneself. Focusing on small, mostly unchanging things like appearance or embarrassment will only lead to self-hatred. One must instead focus on who one is.

These questions, with no answers or explanations provided, aim to prompt the reader to think about the right things to guide them into their next step. They ask what the reader wants in their daily life, what they regret, and what they enjoy.

Wiest interrogates what it means for something to be “good” or “bad.” She argues that everything is good because it serves you in some way. The act of letting go implies a resistance that causes pain. To let go, you only have to accept the present moment as truth.

The metaphor in the title asks the reader to let themselves grow episodically, closing the page on one story to open another one. She recounts a series of lessons she has mentioned before: that people create their own problems, stunt their own happiness, and create stories in their heads. She urges the reader to stop trying to connect their story to their past self.

Wiest argues in this essay that people are more aware of global events, trying harder to understand themselves, and working on understanding their emotions and values. She gives examples proving this shift, including the rise in popularity of yoga, the growing importance of equality, and the recent focus on issues like climate change.

In this essay, Wiest argues that the instinct to make oneself suffer with no stimulus for pain comes from suppressed emotions. She reiterates that the opposite of pain is not joy but acceptance.

Loneliness is only a feeling when one thinks their connection to the world depends on outside stimulation. In solitude, Wiest says, one can more easily step away from the noise and find oneself.

Wiest argues that anxiety arises not when a person feels their emotions but when they try to avoid them. Rather than seeing the truth of their feelings, both the ones that feel bad and the ones that feel good, they imagine the worst possible scenarios. The key lies in the fact that no one can prevent bad things from happening no matter how much anxiety they feel, so the best course of action is to accept the fears.

If one wants to experience more pleasure, then one must also experience more pain. Rather than avoiding pain, one must accept that pain is necessary in creating happiness.